I think if I was to curl up and not exist no one would actually care. I seem to hand out advice so easily but can never quite take it and use it for myself. The past shouldn’t get to me but every now and then it creeps in, with no one noticing but me. So to not exist at this point, to not be able to feel, would actually be pleasant. But i guess thats what sleep is for. To get your mind off of reality and relax.